Sometimes setting goals can be scary. Yesterday I was confronted with the looming deadlines for application into a few art & craft shows this year. I had made the decision to apply before the holidays last year and have been busily throwing pots towards that end ever since. Well, I emptied a couple kiln loads of finished pieces on Tuesday and was thrown into a tailspin of self doubt and loathing. One of the kilns did not fire to temperature. the top shelf was OK, but got progressively under fired the lower I went. Although this was due to no fault of my own, just old elements, I was still thrown by it.
I tend to walk a knifes edge when it comes to confidence in
my work. I know I can throw pretty nice pots, but apparently I let little
issues expand in my mind's eye until they are totally blown out of proportion
and obscure the really good things. I spent all day Wednesday and Thursday
second guessing myself. Thoughts like, what if I can't do this" and
"I'm sure there will be waaaay better potters putting their work out
there, why should I try"....etc.
I did scratch one sale off my list, the deadline and the
sale are just waaay too close and I know I would never have enough stuff by May
to make it worth the mental anguish. I will be able to attempt to enter the one
in the fall, just so long as my inner Charlie Brown does not get in the way.
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